To mark the 10th anniversary of his brother’s passing, Frankie Shand is taking on his first TCS London Marathon for mental health charity Mind.
Frankie, 29, says it has been an “unimaginable rollercoaster” since his younger brother, Jamie, died by suicide.
“Through many ups and downs I’ve learned a lot. Not only about myself, but how to treat people around me, to check in on your loved ones, and to live with a ‘What would Jamie do?’ mindset.
One in four adults and one in 10 children will experience mental illness in their lives (NHS).
But Frankie wants everyone to feel more comfortable speaking up when they feel overwhelmed, as mental health affects us all over the course of our lives.
Marathon Day is a special childhood memory for him, as he and Jamie (pictured above) would climb into their mother’s bed to watch it. They would joke about how they would run it one day dressed as Tweedledum and Tweedledee. Fancy dress aside, Frankie feels it is the right time to keep up his end of the bargain.
“On 11 April it will be the 10-year anniversary of his unexpected passing which makes it feel very fitting in a somewhat strange way,” Frankie says.
He started running a year ago and has already set an amazing half marathon PB of 1:37.
He has also doubled his initial fundraising target of £2,200 and has now raised more than £5,000. Here are his top three fundraising tips.
1. Don’t hold back when telling your story
If you have lived experience of the cause you are fundraising for it can be a daunting prospect to put it into words.
“Over the last 10 years, I’ve posted a photo every now and then, but I've never really spoken publicly about it,” says Frankie. “People know about us losing Jamie, but in reality they know just a fraction of the story.
“I definitely had anxiety about sharing it. I drafted my fundraising page a million times to get it right and feel comfortable with it.”
Frankie’s story made an impact and within 12 hours of sharing with close friends and family, and putting it on Instagram, he had surpassed his target of £2,200.
Despite the initial anxiety, he says it feels as though “a weight has been lifted off my shoulders”.
“You have to draw all the positives from a bad situation. I’m now in a position where it’s nice to talk about Jamie’s story and hope I can use it to help others.”
2. Be aware of the ripple effect
Frankie was touched when, out of the blue, his Year Two primary teacher donated. He’s also found it powerful to hear how his story has touched people he hasn’t met.
Frankie’s mother goes to a support group for those who have lost loved ones through suicide. One week a parent who had lost a child told her his son had come across Frankie’s page.
“Since also losing his brother, he has not spoken about it at all. Reading my story has apparently helped him start to come to terms with it and come out of his shell again, which is exactly the reason I’m doing this” Frankie explains.
Frankie says the awareness and understanding of mental health is improving, but there’s still a long way to go.
“The conversation is growing, but in the world we live in it can be difficult to keep your head above water.
“I’m a very open person because of what has happened. I wear my heart on my sleeve and speak up, but I know a lot of my mates wouldn’t talk about feeling low and it shouldn’t be like that.”
3. Remember, donations aren’t always financial
Someone might be able to help you organise a fundraiser or it might be a kind message that stays with you.
“The scale of it has been so impressive, it has been a mind-blowing experience,” Frankie reflects. “The messages I've had are insane. I’m going to collate them after this is over.”
If you need to dig deep on Marathon Day, those messages could be the motivation you need in your back pocket to help you cross the Finish Line.
